Tuesday, July 14, 2009

LiveStrong-Nike Pro Cycling Team






Open letter to Doug Ulman AKA LiveStrongCEO and Phil Knight

I would like to first, thank you for your time and consideration in reading this letter. As a proud supporter of LiveStrong and the fight against cancer, I would like to share my thoughts on next years LiveStrong-Nike Pro Cycling Team. Sorry Phil, the LiveStrong brand has to come first, it is a non profit fighting against a bastard disease. need I say more?
Second, I would like to share my thoughts on how I see the team shaping up on the pro side. Once again, these are only my thoughts feel free to adjust by one or two either way. Except Horner, he is on the team for the lack of respect by Astana this year. So here it goes:

1. Lance Armstrong - No reason needed, every team needs a senior citizen to monitor bed times and curfew

2. Levi Leipheimer - Who else would be in shape to win Cali and be Lances film sidekick. No doubt worthy

3. George Hincapie - Come on, you know he is like a fine wine. he pairs perfectly with Lance
4. Mark Cavendish - Well he is the worlds fastest man. By the way, he was wearing green underwear during stage 10. I believe they had a Nike Swoosh
5. Mark Renshaw - Cav needs to be set up and I here the Australians now how to celebrate

6. Christian Vande Velde - Having lived in Chicago for 5 years I will testify we need a man who can supply Italian Beef sandwiches to the team. Plus, I think he can get us into the Naperville Rib Fest

7.Martijn Maaskant - Are you kidding me, I just love to Say his name. We could have fun with this guy.
8. Fabian Cancellara - Look he is Swiss we need some culture on the team. Horner needs balance.

9. Chris Horner - Because he belongs and you screwed him this year. You know he is a single Dad
10. ANDREAS KLĂ–DEN - Just look at his name, it just screams get out of my way, I have two dots on my O, I will kick your ass.

11. David Zabriskie - I know, he is a wild card with his own salve but he rides the capt. America bike and it is soo sweet.

12. MICHAEL ROGERS - I had to round out the team with big Mic, the guy just has a cool twitter pic and he relates.
I realize we would need others, I will let you and Director JOHAN BRUYNEEL pick the remainder of the squad. I would like to see a Tyler F., Jani,David M, Danny P and Will F given much consideration.
I do not think I need to tell you this, but they will ride Trek bikes.
trek ben will be the wrench and Gordon Ramsey will cook. Liz will take pictures. Dara Torres will be the team trainer. Have you seen her body? Wow!

Now as for my roll with the team, I have spent many long nights thinking about how I could contribute the most to the Team. I first thought about being the team car driver, but that would be too dangerous. I enjoy a fine glass of wine while watching sports. Then I saw myself as the Team publicist, but realized grammar and spelling were required. So I have invented my own roll. I would be the morning test peddler. Yes, I would warm up each bike for the riders. At night, I would be the food taster. I have been watching the series The Tudors and they seem to like the poison in Europe.



I almost forgot Phil, you are footing the bill for the whole team. LiveStrong is a non-profit and Nike is all about greatness, and who wouldn't consider this the greatest team ever. I would say 20mm will cover all costs, including my set of team bikes.

I would like to thank you in advance for this consideration and opportunity to show a couple of my real talents.


Sincerely,


Slowrider















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2 comments:

  1. Nice letter, good luck with that!

    ReplyDelete
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    He was almost inactive, his face red with pleasure. Hercurrent miraculous shape was the product of a years salary in sculptingnanobots, but it had been worth it to her shed gotten the good kind thatbuilt to last, adjusting genetic markers as well as her surface so that if andwhen she decided to have offspring, theyd have a leg up in life.

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